There was a time when I could not fully recognize myself. I was studying art therapy, colliding with perimenopause and my own body, and going through a phase of life where many things were shifting at the same time. This painting was my way to express that moment.
That day I had an urge to paint. Suddenly, Sasha Kuzovkov’s photograph “Mirror” came to mind, which itself echoes René Magritte’s painting “Not to Be Reproduced”, where the mirror is the container and the reflection does not return what we expect. That image resonated with me and with what I was experiencing.
In my painting the woman has grey hair, like mine. Strangely, I kept her braids, nothing I have had since I was a little girl. At that time, I was working on my inner child and creativity, so there you go. As I see it now, this long hair also represents the length of a life.
In the mirror the braid is still connected to my own.
This detail is important for me because it shows that even if I could not see my face, I was still in touch with myself. I was not ready to show everything yet, but I was not lost. There was hope.
Art therapy helped me hold that feeling, without forcing it into language too soon. Now I can write about it.
Some time after painting this, breathwork came in.
I began practicing short exercises of conscious connected breathing every day, with one longer session a week, thanks to my facilitator training with Breathing Space. I am amazed by how much this practice has changed me. It has grounded me in myself in ways I once longed for but could not access. It has unblocked something in me, so I can hear my inner insights and intuition with clarity, creativity and drive.
Synchronicities appear more naturally, and I am ready to see them and welcome them. I feel grounded and full of passion, and I am slowly learning how to share these tools with others who recognise something of their own story here.
Life is not resolved. Chaos and uncertainty are still there, but I meet them differently. I show up daily. I stand in front of the mirror, and I see myself now.
